We all know that the thing that happens between you asking her out and you getting that first bit of freeky deeky is the all-important first date. If you fuck it up, you will never gain entry to the sacred chamber of squelch. I have 2 dates that I like to do pretty much every single time, they’re both cheap and both will most likely end up with you both being naked, I’m going to explain them to you and why they get the desired effect (which is obviously shexy time).
Date 1: Home Made Cinema Date
In usual circumstances I would never ever suggest the cinema for a first date but in this case it can be magic. What you need to do is buy some popcorn and some fizzy drinks, I buy other snacks like crisps and chocolate but you don’t have to. Push up your couch or bed or whatever as close to your TV as is comfortable, chuck a few pillows and a duvet on the couch, rent a decent new DVD (I like a horror or something that has violence in it) and invite over your favorite hook up.
When she gets there put the popcorn in a bowl flick off the lights and turn on the DVD. The genius of this date is that it is traditional and safe in her mind as it’s your classic cinema first date, yet at the same time she is in your room, and the added bonus of having a scary film to watch with a duvet close by means you can have those all important snuggles haha.
We all know that scary film + duvet = snuggles, and snuggles + hook up = sexy time. YAY!!!
Date 2: Pottery Painting
This is my first date of choice, it takes a bit more effort than the last one but is way more effective in the long term, the thing with this date is that it can get you laid and at the same time sets things up for if you want to actually date this girl. There are elements of comfort that you just don’t get from watching a film together. Here’s how it goes.
You need to buy some cheap acrylic paints, not a lot just get 3 or 4 colors and either a pair of small paints or cups (I get mine from the £ shop), grab some cheap paintbrushes and set some paper down on your bed.
Take your date for a few cocktails or a drink and during the date mention that this is only part 1, and part 2 is way more fun, then just let it simmer, don’t tell her what part 2 is no matter how much she asks. This will only build the tension.
After part 1 just walk her home and take her to your room. When she sees the pains and stuff she will be like OH MY, how cute etc etc. Explain the rules to her:
1) She has to paint you a pot based on your interests.
2) The best pot gets to choose the second date.
3) You don’t get to look at each others creation until it is finished.
This date works in a few different ways, it gets her into your room, she will be comfortable here in future visits when the only entertainment will be your dinky and secondly, the rules mean that you have to actually talk to get to know each other (which builds comfort), and the prize plants the seed of a second date.
The nature of paint taking time to dry also gives you the opportunity to get to know each other better or erm … perform other time consuming activities.
KA-CHING, you have a girl in your room for some boom boom, and you can also see her again if you choose to.
Honestly guys, both of these dates are fucking magic, try them out a couple of times and develop your own way of doing things.
You’re welcome!
