If you are approaching and dating attractive women, you will have to deal with other guys. You will have to interact with her guy friends if you approach her at a bar or club. You will have to meet her guy friends if you are dating her.
Many times, her guy “friends” are actually interested in her romantically, but are orbiting in the friend-zone. They may harbor resentment for you, and subtly try to compete with you conversationally. Worse, some guys will try to make her think poorly of you behind your back (“He seems like a player. If he ever does anything to hurt you I’ll beat him up. I don’t trust him.”)
#1 Don’t Lose Focus
It’s very easy to lose your focus and pay too much attention to the other guys around her, because as men, we are competitive. Usually the way to deal with competition is to deal with it head on.
Not in this case. You lose the game when you stop focusing on the woman. Why? Because you want her focused on you. If you can keep her attention, you win, he loses.
You keep her attention by paying attention to her. I don’t mean that you talk her ear off and suck up to her. What I really mean is that you pay attention to her, but get her to do all the taking, and doing things for you.
Ask her questions about her life, her personality, and her thoughts. Then look at her like she’s the only person in the room as she spills her guts. Most guys think that the way to win a woman over is by talking a lot and impressing her with your braggadocio. This is wrong. The way to win a woman over is by leveraging her need to feel unique and special, by getting her to tell you about herself and impress you!
#2 Be Nice … Enough
Don’t be mean to other guys. Don’t try to put them down, or be more witty than they are. Women are hyper-sensitive to this, and they think it’s stupid. If another guy tries to engage you in a battle of one-ups or wittiness, or whatever, stay relaxed, and treat him like a little kid trying to impress you. Be reassuring, let him know you think he’s an OK guy, and then return your attention to your girl.
Him: “Hey dude, you look a little overdressed. Was it prom night or something? Haha”
You: “Haha yeah I know man. Didn’t know this place was so casual. You look good though.”
(Then turn back to the girl and ask her something.)
#3 Boost His Confidence as a Function of Staying Out of Your Way
The best route to take with an overzealous guy “friend” is to boost him up as an attractive guy, and encourage him to talk to other women. Say, “Dude, that girl keeps checking you out. You should talk to her.” No matter what happens, he will look silly. Let’s explore some scenarios, and how he’ll look to the girl:
Scenario 1: He approaches the girl you pointed out. Your girl will see him as a horny guy who is looking to get laid.
Scenario 2: He makes an excuse, like, “I don’t approach girls,” or “She’s not hot enough/not my type.” Your girl sees through this and he looks scared.
Scenario 3: He refuses, and insists on standing with the two of you. Your girl realizes that he’s really just after her, and scared to leave her alone with you.
#4 You Suspect He’s Talking About You When You’re Not Around
This one is super easy to deal with, and in fact, I take preemptive action regardless. If I meet a guy friend of a girl I’m dating, I always speak well of him when he’s not around. I’ll say, “I like your friend Joe. He seems like a really solid guy and I can tell he’s a good friend.”
Now, if she suspects that Joe likes her, she will realize that all the attention she gets from him is not “good friend” behavior, and that he’s actually pursuing her. Because the “good friend” part is negated, the “solid guy” part is put in question.
And of course, if he ever says anything bad about you, he just looks like asshole.