As a man, it’s normal that the first thing you notice about a woman are her looks. However many guys mistakenly make too big a deal out of the fact that a girl is hot and end up ruining their chances with her before they even get started trying to get to know her.
If you go on a site like Facebook or Myspace you’ll see that hot girls will get long threads of comments under their photos that say stuff like:
- damn girl. your sexyyyy
- trully breath taking
- omg, very sexy
- very very beutiful!!!
- Such beauty and gorgeous eyes!
I remember when I first noticed this phenomenon and I just didn’t get it. I mean WTF is the point of that? You are just feeding her ego that she is hot. You’re not making her like you. You’re not standing out from the other guys. Basically all you’re doing is eliminating any chance that she would take you seriously as a man.
Your just signing up to be a member of her fanclub of dudes that sweat her. Not where you want to be, at all. But if that wasn’t bad enough, guys do the same shit in real life too!
There are even some well known “dating experts” who say that their favorite opening line is something like “I just had to tell you that you are really gorgeous…”
Seriously.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with telling a girl that she looks good and that you notice… In fact this is a fantastic thing to tell a girl, but it’s all about how you do it. So here’s a short list of Dos and Don’ts to keep in mind.
1. Don’t tell her she’s hot as your introduction
The fact that you are approaching her in the first place let’s her know you like what you see. Your eye contact and body language should do the talking for you so there’s no need to spell it out for her. This just puts you in the same group as all the other guys who tell her that she is pretty because that’s all they’ve got to say.
2. Don’t tell her she’s beautiful online
As I mentioned this puts you in her weird desperate online fanclub. It’s horrible. Don’t do it. I can’t tell you how many coaching clients send me emails to critique where they are telling some girl all about how beautiful she is. If you do this kind of stuff, I’ve got a book for you…
3. Don’t tell her that she’s hot until she’s already digging you
Sometimes when you start talking to a girl she’ll feel a little indifferent towards you at first while she tries to get a reading on what you are all about. During this time you want to show her that you are fun and let her see the personal qualities that are going to attract her to you. If you start telling her she’s hot before she starts feeling attracted to you it will repel her, and make you look like a creeper.
4) Tell her how hot she looks when she is naked
Normally I don’t tell girls how hot I think that they are until they are nude or at least in their undies… At this point, there’s really no reason to hold back and she will appreciate it much more. It will also make her feel better about being intimate with you because you are telling her something that is going to make her feel really good about herself. And this also basically eliminates any chance that she’ll change her mind at the last minute.
