Are you having an imaginary relationship? This used to happen to me all the time, and it was a major kink in my game…
I’d meet a girl, get her number, possibly go on a date or two (or not), and all of a sudden she’d be all that I couldn’t think about. I’d go to sleep thinking about her, and wake up and think about her. I’d think about how cool it was gonna be next time that I got to see her. I’d plan out our future dates, including taking her to my favorite restaurants and introducing her to my friends. I’d even take her down to my place of employment and show her off! The guys at work will be trippin’ when they see my new biscuit!
Heck, maybe I’ll even bring her home for Sunday dinner with my folks, or take her for a quick trip up
to Niagara Falls.
Stop dreaming, get moving
In other words I’d get WAY ahead of myself, and this created PROBLEMS because it creates a giant disconnect between how you and the girl are thinking about your “relationship.”
From her viewpoint you are just some dude she met, maybe she even got naked with you … but at the end of the day it’s not a big deal to her yet. So, she’s not going to treat it like a big deal. In fact for all you know she could be dating three other guys, have a boyfriend, or just hooks up with guys all over the place.
The fact that you obsess over the relationship doesn’t mean that there actually is a relationship, at all…
This doesn’t mean that you can’t be in a real relationship with her in the future. Just don’t get ahead of yourself because it freaks girls out and makes you look desperate. Women want a guy who has options, and guys with options don’t sweat girls, or try to get into relationships with them right away.
I get emails everyday from guys who are all hung up on some girl who they’ve just started talking to or dating, because she didn’t text them back soon enough. Or maybe she cancelled a date that the guy had planned and had been thinking about non-stop all week. Even worse is when guys get into imaginary relationships with girls they meet online … I can’t tell you how many girls have told me about some dude who is cyber stalking her … talk about creepy!
So the lesson here is not to get ahead of yourself. Only think about girls you are talking to or dating while you are actually talking to or hanging out with them.
Don’t slow your roll because you met a real amazing chick and you want to lay around fantasizing about your future together. You gotta keep it movin’…
And ironically the less time you spend in fantasy land the greater the chances that things will actually pan out with her in the future. You see girls are very good at picking up on this kind of stuff. It doesn’t seem like she would be able to tell if you are thinking about her all the time or not, but she can tell…
Chicks just have a crazy sixth sense about this type of shit.
So when you get a number, or a date, or you hook up with a girl for the first time just chill. You can give yourself a pat on the pack if you want, but don’t go post on a forum about it. And don’t sit around your place replaying the events in your imagination over and over again.
Keep busy with other things, hit the gym, go meet some other girls, heck go bowling, just don’t get stuck on her.