Thursday, August 9, 2012

When You’re Finding It Difficult to Talk to Her

When You’re Finding It Difficult to Talk to Her
Sometimes a conversation can just die. You’ve approached her with a fantastic opener, managed to swap names, and now you’ve totally run out of things to say. Normally when you’re struggling to keep an interesting conversation going, you can excuse yourself and try your luck with someone else. But in the case where you really would like to talk to her, you’re going to have to try extra hard to engage her in conversation.

It’s her responsibility to talk too

Solve the problem
Keeping a conversation going isn’t solely your job. You both have to work at it. But if you’ve taken over the exchange, she might get lazy and decide to let you carry the conversation. Make her do her part by creating awkward silences. If she doesn’t reply to something you’ve said, don’t say something else. Wait a few seconds and maintain eye contact with her. Unless she is really intent on not talking to you, she will say something just to make the awkward moment go away.

Have a shared experience
Stop struggling to talk, and do something instead. You could try people-watching if you’re in a social situation. At a party, it could be as simple as going over to the food platters, which will create less pressure to talk as you’re busy eating and you will then be able to talk about the food.

Leave her temporarily
In a situation where you would be able to excuse yourself from the conversation but know you’ll easily be able to find her later, you can leave the conversation. It’s best if you have an excuse, like going to the bathroom, so she doesn’t think you don’t want to talk to her. Tell her that you’ll talk to her again later. Don’t come back too soon, and hopefully when you do the conversation will flow more easily. If you’ve just met, it will no longer be the first conversation you’ve ever had, so you will feel less like strangers. In that time you could try to think of new topics which you might be able to discuss with her. At the very least, you will be able to tell each other about anything interesting that happened in the time that passed between your two conversations.

It’s difficult to talk to someone who doesn’t like you
Perhaps the one-word responses she’s been giving you aren’t a reflection on your skills as a conversationalist. It could be that she just does not like your company, and is trying to make you shut up by being difficult to talk to. You could give in to what she wants and end the conversation- or you could pretend not to notice she’s trying to make you stop talking. She already doesn’t like you, so you have nothing to lose and it’s quite possible that she’ll start to warm up to you. Persevering with the conversation also makes it her responsibility to extricate herself from the conversation if she chooses to.

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