Friday, August 10, 2012

When She Fancies Your Friend...

When introducing the woman you’re seeing into your circle of friends, you want her to get along with them. But what if she gets along with a certain friend of yours a little too well?

Short phase or serious crush?

What if she's looking around ...
It can be hard to adjust to monogamy if she’s just had a long period of being single. Perhaps she just needs to re-discover what is appropriate and what’s not. If you think she’ll calm down, it might be best not to mention to her that you’ve noticed and wait until the phase passes. But in the case that she is developing an obsession with your friend, you have to have a talk to her about it. She either needs to rein herself in and stop brazenly flirting with your friend, or say goodbye to your fledgling relationship.

Can you trust your friend?
You would hope that a friend would not even consider getting with your date. But sometimes self-interest can get in the way of being a good mate. If she’s a ten, he might decide it’s worth reciprocating her actions. If you know you can trust your friend, then you have less to worry about because no matter how hard she tries, nothing will happen. Otherwise, you’ll have to be extra careful about keeping them apart socially.

Consider your reputation
It’s just embarrassing if your new girlfriend has lost interest already and is trying her luck with a friend of yours. Your friends will think you’re a fool, whether it’s because you’re oblivious to her flirtation or because you know and aren’t doing anything about it, and good friends of yours will be red-faced on your behalf. If you care about your reputation, you need to get her to stop trying to get in your friend’s pants, whether it’s by having her agree to stop, or by breaking it off with her.

If she’s into your female friend
It would take you longer to realize the girl you’re dating has a thing for a female friend of yours. If she’s dating you, of course you’re going to assume she doesn’t swing that way. Even if your girlfriend is all over your female friend, you still might not cotton on to her intentions- you could happily interpret it as them just getting along really well. But if your girlfriend is getting a bit too flirty with your female friend, and talks about how desirable said friend is, then you have to consider the possibility that she fancies your friend.

You can put your mind at ease knowing nothing will go on between them if your female friend is straight. Otherwise, there are a few courses of action you can take, the most fun option being trying to get with them both at the same time. But consider that there may be feelings involved as well as just physical attraction. If you’re concerned that your girlfriend has a serious crush on your friend, you’ll want to have a serious talk to both of them. Warn your friend of your girlfriend’s intentions, and tell your girlfriend that you’re aware of what she’s doing and that she needs to back off.

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