Many guys wonder why they keep getting deaded when approaching girls and they immediately assume it’s because of what they said. Although it does matter what you say initially, what matters even more is how you respond after hearing her response. And the key is to match her intensity as closely as you can.
Here Me Out
Get out there
I want to give you a few examples from my weekend in NYC so you can get a gist of what I mean. I approached a very slim, equally sexy waitress at this rooftop bar and asked, “How do you feel about having to wear that dress to work? It’s pretty aggressive …”
She answered, “It’s not that bad. It helps that the other girls are wearing it, too. What are you walking around taking a survey?”
The response was rather brass so I went right back at her, “Woah! A kid can’t ask a question anymore? I was just curious because even though I know I’d look phenomenal in that dress, too, I’m not sure how I’d feel wearing it!”
She immediately burst out and laughing and her demeanor went from guarded, to playful in an instant. And it was all because of my response.
Later on that night when we bounced to a different bar I walked up to an exotic looking French girl who spoke very little English. I don’t even remember what I said to her, but she responded with the typical French arrogance. Rather than walking away I said, “I haven’t spoken to many French people, but you’re exactly like the stereotype.”
“What did you say? I speak French. Very little English. No understand,” she responded in a stern tone.
“You’re in New York. Not France. You should try and be nice! I’m a fun guy!” I said loudly so she could hear me. The smug look immediately transformed into a smile. “Okay. I’ll be nice to you. You’re fun.”
Come on French women, you can’t out smug me. I might be the cockiest Mother F’er out there.
Feed Off Their Response
In both of the situations outlined above the initial reaction by the girl wasn’t great. They were cute girls that probably get approached a lot. But by quickly coming back with a response mirroring their intensity, I was immediately able to change their opinions. It’s a trick you should be using yourself.
It also works it scenarios when the girl is timid. Instead of overwhelming her with enthusiasm, take a step back and say something less intrusive. (Check out me using big words.)
Also, by paying attention to their response you won’t be worrying so much about your initial openers and it will allow you to be much calmer when you’re approaching. It’s a win-win situation, so go get it done.