Monday, January 23, 2012

Love, Liking and Attraction

happy-couple-Love, Liking and Attraction

Have you heard or read stuff about, how to tell if someone likes ya? I believe many of us do, and of course we're all curious to know what are the signs and behaviors that others display when they are attracted to us.

The keyword here is ATTRACTED.

You see, I kinda get amused when I see so many places giving a list of the things that are supposed to tell you what to look for when someone is interested in you. Well first of all, only some of the things stated are actual signs that show someone is attracted to you. Those are the signs that cut straight to the core and tell that he or she is undoubtedly attracted to you. The rest of the signs are... well, they only show that they like you. That's all.

When people like you, it doesn't always mean that they are interested in you. When they are interested in you, they don't always show that they like you. In fact, in many cases, they may even behave as though they don't like you!

Well anyway, the idea that I had in mind for this post is to write about love, liking and attraction. I'll talk about love first.There are different types of love. Yes we all know about the greek words of the four major types of love. Agape (Spiritual and sacrificial love), Phileo (Friendship and Kindness Love), Eros (Romantic and Sexual Love) and Storge (Kinship and Familial Love).

But when I'm talking about love, I will ask what is the type, the level, the intensity and the depth of the love? Those are the four factors that defines it.

There are different types of love. You can love someone as a friend, you can love someone as a cousin/sister/brother. You can love someone with the love of the lord. You can love someone as a superstar you adore. You can love someone as the love of your life.

There are different levels of love. How much agape is present in that love? Agape varies in different amounts. To what extent do you have the person's best interest at heart. To what extent do you naturally consider their needs without first being conscious of yours? How much care do you have for them?

There are different intensities of love. The amount of passion, the amount of fire and the amount of energy that you have in your love for that person determines the intensity of that love. How much force is there, how much power and how much focus? Is it like a flood of warm sunlight shining on that person or is it like a laser beam completely targeted and burning ferociously with such intensity and fire?

There are different depths of love. How deep does that love go? Is it so deeply in rooted layers within layers that it's almost next to impossible to remove? Can it come one moment and go the next, or will it remain forever even to the very ends of time and space?

About liking and attraction. There is a difference between liking someone and being attracted to someone. There is a difference between loving and being in love. There is a difference between affection and attraction. There is a difference between compassionate love and passionate love.

So what is the difference that makes the difference, for all the above? It is simply this:

You can find yourself attracted to a number of people but you can only be in love with one. You can love many people, but you can only be in love with one. Why is that so? Because there's only room for person in your heart at any one time. If there are two, it means one is the real one and the other is not. Or else for one to come, the other must go. It's THE special place of your heart. Heart of hearts or heart within hearts. Secret heart.

I hope you don't misunderstand me here. It's the special place for a relationship with a love partner or soulmate, although there are many special places for other kinds of love as well, even God's love in your secret heart.

There is a DIFFERENCE between LOVING and being IN LOVE. Being IN LOVE is a different KIND OF LOVE. It is the KIND OF LOVE meant for MARRIAGE, THE ONE and ONLY. That is God's design. That is why everyone desires THE ONE. You can LOVE MANY but you can only be IN LOVE with ONE.

As for love itself, you can't say really say one kind of love is better than another. Sometimes a love that loves too much and loves too deeply can hurt so much. Sometimes it's better to love with a carefee kind of love because it can't really be hurt too much. Both kinds of love are real but different.

They say never love a love that hurts. And never hurt a love that loves. But you will always hurt a love that loves somehow in some way, but it will continue loving because it is a love that loves. And when you truly love a person a lot, it can hurt because you do not just desire for the person but you desire the person as well.

And you'd also choose someone who not only loves you but also wants you, wouldn't you? Don't just marry someone you can live with, marry someone you can't live without.

But don't be someone who is needy and insecure. Be someone who is powerful, complete and whole. That in itself is attractive.

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