Arguments are never fun. And the awkward tension after the argument? That’s even worse! Use these 8 ways to clear the awkward silence quickly.
Don’t you hate that awkward tension after an argument? You know, the
one that people don’t really talk about? You’re not even annoyed
anymore, but there’s just this awkward silence and you can’t quite seem
to snap back into normality.
You wonder whether your partner is still annoyed, or whether they too
are hovering in limbo between arguing and normality. Neither partner
wants to be the first to move, talk, or make eye contact. And neither
partner’s true intentions are clear.
It can be pretty frustrating. The argument is over, so why is it so
difficult to move on? In submitting ourselves to this strange state of
post-argument awkwardness, we are extending the negativity, when we
could be enjoying our relationships in the way that we should be!
8 ways to avoid the awkward tension after an argument
Arguments are bad enough as is, without extending it by a couple of
hours of awkward silences. We need to learn to resolve and move on from
arguments quickly and efficiently, so that we don’t waste our time
needlessly on confusions, egos or frustrations.
Try out these 8 tips that will allow you and your partner to heal and
snap back quickly after an argument, so both of you can enjoy each
other’s company once again!
#1 Avoid arguing in the first place
I think we can all agree that most arguments we have are just plain
silly and a few days later, you often struggle to remember what it was
that caused the disagreement in the first place! So is it really worth
arguing in the first place?
Don’t allow verbal aggression to be your first instinct when a
disagreement arises. It is possible to discuss an issue WITHOUT being
aggressive, and quite often, the issue is resolved much quicker because
you are in a much more rational state of mind.
Take a deep breath and control your temper. Listen to what the other
person has to say without interrupting. Reflect on their opinion and
don’t overreact. Even if you are the only one who is handling the
situation in this way, your partner is likely to follow your lead soon
enough.
#2 Let go and don’t hold a grudge
Often, tension is caused after an argument because we don’t allow
ourselves to let the disagreement go. When we sit in silence, we are
quite often continuing to justify our own side of the argument in our
minds.
Remember that neither arguing nor holding a grudge is worth your
time. You can make the decision to choose a positive mindset. Even if
something has annoyed or upset you, or if the argument hasn’t been fully
resolved, let it go. It is never as important as you think it is at
that time. In the grand scheme of things, your happiness and the health
of your relationship are much more important. And they will thrive if
you don’t let every negative experience get to you and cling to you.
Forget it and move on.
#3 Don’t overanalyze the argument
After an argument, we often feel the need to justify our reactions
and examine the root of the argument. Going over the causes of
disagreement, and clearing up misunderstandings is helpful to a certain
degree. But on the flip side, it won’t allow you to move on and return
to normalcy.
What’s more, it runs the risk of reigniting the argument. So, be
cautious and keep it to a minimum. Accept that arguments and
misunderstandings happen, and if it doesn’t need to be discussed
further, then don’t! Banish the awkward silence, and focus on returning
to normalcy as quickly as possible, and that should be your main
priority.
#4 Make a physical show of affection
Sometimes, we sit in silence after an argument because we’ve simply
had enough of using words. Don’t forget the old saying: actions speak
louder than words. Show your partner that all is forgotten by displaying
a gesture of affection.
Even if one of you are still clenching teeth, introducing intimacy
will instantly break the tension and allow both of you to heal after the
argument. There is a reason why “make up sex” exists! Intimacy allows
you to express your love, and afterwards, everything is forgotten.
#5 Apologize and admit where you were wrong
We all say things that we regret in the heat of the moment, and
often, arguments arise because we have completely misunderstood the
intensions of the other person’s actions or words. What’s more, it is
very unusual that only one person is in the wrong. In fact, an argument
is usually a combination of both of your wrongs or misunderstandings!
You have most likely spent the majority of the argument explaining to
your partner why they are wrong, it is now important to recognize where
YOU were wrong and apologize. It will often initiate the other person
to do the same. You may want to save face and avoid damaging your ego,
but by stepping up and apologizing, it will provide closure to the
argument and will allow both of you to move on.
#6 Break awkward silences with a positive topic of conversation
Don’t let post-argument awkward silences go on longer than they have
to. The longer it goes on, the harder it is to break out of it.
The best thing you can do is to take a deep breath and pretend
nothing happened. Pick a positive topic of conversation or make small
talk. It may seem slightly false and awkward to start with for the first
couple of minutes, but anything is better than an awkward silence!
You’ll be surprised how quickly your conversation will revert to the
norm.
#7 Try a change of environment
It is easy to remain steadfast in the exact same physical position as
you were when you were arguing. No one wants to be the first to make a
move into continuing with normal life.
Bite the bullet and suggest a change of scenery. Perhaps go for a
coffee, or out to dinner. Often, a change of environment, especially to a
more social environment like a coffee shop or restaurant, will
immediately change the atmosphere between the both of you.
#8 Acknowledge the tension
When there is tension after a fight, it is hard to tell whether the
other person is feeling as awkward as you are or whether they are still
annoyed. And they are probably wondering the exact same thing!
Let them know that you aren’t annoyed, and most importantly, let your
partner know just how much you hate the tension and the silence after a
fight. More often than not, they will be relieved that you’re feeling
the same way. Once you’ve both acknowledged that the fight is over, you
can both make a decision to move on.
The most important thing here is to always remember the consequences
of fighting. Remind yourself how raw you usually feel after a fight and
the tension that is likely to follow, before the argument gets underway.
This is often enough to make you take steps to prevent the argument
before both of you get carried away, or at least, it will motivate you
to resolve the disagreement quickly and move on without a period of
post-argument tension.
Happiness in your relationship should always take priority, so don’t
waste your time by dragging an argument on longer than necessary. It is
almost never worth it!
So the next time you see red when you’re talking to your
partner, just remember these 8 ways to avoid the silence and the awkward
tension after an argument. Over time, subconsciously, the fights will
reduce. And the love will grow!
