Since you became a couple, have you noticed any changes in yourself? Did you unwittingly absorb your partner’s personality or vice versa?
There’s no denying that couples start acting and looking alike the
longer they are in a relationship. I suppose, like everything else,
there has to be some form of psychology behind it. However, I’m no
psychologist and can only jot down what I’ve observed and experienced.
I’m not saying you lose your unique sense of identity when you form a
partnership with someone. On the contrary, you tend to fuse both unique
personalities to create one living, breathing organism. By aligning
your goals and appearances, you get onto each other’s wavelengths and
reach an unmistakable understanding and bond with one another.
Some people project this fusion by dressing alike, talking alike, or
changing their entire mindset to connect better with their partner.
These tweaks vary according to the couple, and there are undoubtedly
situations in which both refuse to change anything about themselves.
Perhaps this is why couples end up breaking up.
Maybe the secret to a happy relationship is to continuously stay on
each other’s wavelengths. However, let’s not get too into that right
now, because we could go on for days analyzing what makes a relationship
work and what doesn’t.
How do couples start behaving alike?
In case you haven’t noticed, there are 8 uncanny things people start
doing alike when they’re in a relationship. Take a step back, and see
how many of these apply to you and your partner. If you must know, I
counted 4 similarities, myself.
#1 Speaking alike. I don’t know about you, but I
started speaking like my partner. I’m not saying I miraculously sprouted
a French accent and ignored my H’s, but I started using expressions
that I never thought I would use. The same can be said for him. He has
taken on randomly throwing the word “lah” behind his sentences. In case
you were wondering, “lah” is a suffix used by Malaysians to spice up
and amplify a sentence.
Whether it comes to slang, lingo, or expressions, there is no denying
that the more time you spend with your partner, the more likely it is
that you will start sounding alike. The thing is, you won’t even realize
it until someone points it out.
#2 Dressing similarly. Another uncanny thing that
people start doing alike when they’re in a relationship is dressing
alike, or at the very least dressing to get in line with their partner’s
tastes. For example, my friend Nicholas became preppy for his
girlfriend, Natalia. He started off as a college kid full of angst, with
a closet full of Nirvana t-shirts. Five years with a trust fund beauty
turned him into the poster child for Ralph Lauren, complete with polo
shirts and boat shoes.
Perhaps the change in fashion preferences has a lot to do with trying
to look good for your partner. The more compliments you get when you
wear a certain outfit, the more likely you are to wear it again. But you
might not immediately notice the fact that the outfits your partner
compliments are those in line with their personal tastes.
#3 Aligning downtime interests. There is a very high
chance that couples will start to love the same books, movies,
documentaries, music, and pretty much anything else that you can pass
the time doing. After all, spending that much time together will
invariably make you interested in what your partner is into and vice
versa.
To be fair, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with this. If being with
someone is going to open you up to new experiences and interests, then
the relationship is certainly good for you. Just be sure not to indulge
too much in each other’s vices, because we all know that when one
partner falls down the rabbit hole, the other will, too.
#4 Taking on similar mannerisms. Similar to speaking
alike, couples also tend to take on similar mannerisms. From being
extremely expressive with your hands, to using certain facial
expressions, you’d be surprised by just how much your partner can
influence you when it comes to nonverbal communication.
#5 Thinking alike. Although people tend to have
specific stances when it comes to certain things, there’s no denying
that your partner can and will influence the way you see the world.
An example would be my friends, Tasha and Vas. Besides transforming
her appearance to become an “urban hippie,” Tasha also has very
different views on marijuana now that she’s dating a doobie-smoking
hipster. From preaching, “Marijuana is a drug!” to chants of “Legalize
it, it’s only a plant!” this is just one example that shows how being
with someone can change the way we think.
#6 Similar food appreciation. Whether it is
rediscovering old favorites served in a different way, or trying and
loving something brand new, couples in relationships tend to have
similar food cravings. Perhaps certain dishes and restaurants bring back
memories of a first date and so on, but in general, couples tend to
attune their sense of taste to cater to their partner’s.
I never thought I would crave choucroute, an Alsatian dish with
sauerkraut, sausages, and salted meat. My partner, on the other hand,
never thought he would miss yam dumplings. However, when you’re in love
with someone, you tend to open your mind and palate to new foods and
make them a part of your all-time-favorites list.
#7 Working toward the same goals. Whether it’s
saving money for that romantic Europe trip, or taking out a loan
together to buy an apartment, people tend to tweak their life goals
to comfortably include their partner when making plans for the future.
#8 Aligning their sense of humor. One may still be
way funnier than the other, but you will find that both have the same
idea of what counts as funny. Laughing can, indeed, be contagious. It’s
contagious enough to have you laughing in fits over something you
previously found absolutely corny, all because your partner can’t
suppress their laughter, either.
At the end of the day, it is completely normal to want to
expand your horizons and absorb your partner’s good traits. Just
remember not to lose sight of who you really are.
