Found the perfect catch, and wondering if they’re the one? Read on to identify the signs of compatibility that point to future relationship bliss.
There comes a time in every diva or stud’s life when they must put
down their tools of trade, put on their sensible heads, and think about
giving up their flirtatious lifestyle in favor of a proper relationship.
However, assessing a partner’s long-term suitability is far more
difficult than assessing how many points they score on the eye candy
scale.
What’s hot and what’s not
On a typical night out, especially when the vino’s been flowing and
people aren’t acting their usual selves, it can be quite easy to end up
falling for someone who seems like the perfect choice for a life
partner. However, the next time you meet, with the situation back to
normality, they may be completely different in character. In that case,
it will either be apparent that there is no match there at all or, more
confusingly, the match is there, but just not quite to the extent that
you previously thought.
Signs that you’re compatible
Whether having met on a night out, through friends, or whatever other
situation, there are certain signs of compatibility that place a
definite tick in the box of whoever it is that you’re trying to address
the suitability of. The following list outlines five of the most
important signs.
#1 A sense of humor. So important
this one, and much underrated. You could have the most attractive,
erudite, intelligent, well-to-do, and driven partner on the planet
earth, but if you find yourself at home having about as much fun as an
undertaker with an embarrassing rash, then you’ve obviously missed out
on a key relationship ingredient: humor.
Interestingly, both sexes cite humor as one of the most attractive
qualities in a potential partner. And there’s a good reason for this.
The fact is that life isn’t a bed of roses, no matter what your personal
situation, and it frequently throws up tough times to test even the
steeliest resolve.
At such times, a good sense of humor and a positive outlook is often
the most effective tool we have in restoring psychological order, and in
dealing with the relevant issues. Having a partner who can lift your
mood is an invaluable addition to the whole relationship package.
#2 Sexual compatibility. This isn’t an easy sign to
discern early on, unless you have the scruples of a gutter rat! However,
there will come a point during the relationship where it will become
physical, and then you’ll be able to see where exactly you both are on
the sexual spectrum. And there are three sides to this particular
spectrum: quantity, quality and quirkiness.
The first relates to the frequency of sex that each in the couple
prefers. Some are once-a-week love makers, others are thrice nightly
thrillers. If sex drives aren’t compatible, this may cause issues down
the line. Quality is fairly self-explanatory, referring to whether
someone is a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am kind of person, or a careful and
considerate lover. Quirkiness refers to how adventurous each of the
individuals are, whether a strictly one or two position love maker or an
all-out sexual cavalier.
Now, sex isn’t everything, it’s true, but for some people it’s very
important. It brings couples closer together, releases tension, and
affirms other less physical parts of the relationship. If any of the
three Qs mentioned above mismatch, then it could spell trouble.
So if you’re having to book yourself into next year’s diary for your
next sex session, or are having to go missionary with the lights off
when you’d prefer to be screaming out loud and hanging off the
chandeliers, then the signs really aren’t very good.
#3 Shared interests. Having shared interests isn’t
always a good thing. Depending upon how much personal space each
individual in the relationship requires *and some do need a lot more
than others* a shared interest could be just another situation from
which they can’t escape.
However, a shared interest is usually considered a good thing. It
allows a first foot into conversation at the earlier stages of the
relationship, and provides an area that can always be dipped into,
should the conversation ever fail. It also gives you a solid basis from
which to build a relationship that extends beyond the short-term borders
of the typical date, especially if it’s something that requires a
certain amount of time and preparation.
Most importantly though, it provides a platform from which to keep
developing your relationship in later years, and in avoiding the
pitfalls of couch potato syndrome.
#4 Aspirations. There is a massive issue that many
couples experience relating to the last sentence of the previous point –
the couch potato syndrome. The fact is, when they get into the routine
of being together, some couples simply come to a stop. If both are happy
with this, then actually, there is an element of compatibility there
that needs no further comment upon.
It is more the case, however, that this syndrome comes into being
through the inactions of just one of the couple, and this is where the
problems start. It is important early on to have some idea of your
potential partner’s life aspirations.
Do they want to climb the African peaks, or are they happy climbing
the stairs to bed on an evening? Do they want to progress their career
at any cost, or are they happy sitting at the back of the office holding
up a tower of pointless paperwork? Do they have their eyes on a large
ten-bedroom mansion in an up and coming neighborhood, or have they never
looked beyond their mother’s basement?
Whatever their life goals may be, if their aspirations don’t match
your own, then one of you will probably just get left behind.
#5 Cultural considerations. This
last point covers so much ground. If someone comes from the same social
background, is of the same nationality, same religion, etc., they
obviously have a compatibility heads up on other dissimilar couples. On
the other hand, we’re all quite familiar with the saying “opposites
attract,” and there are also many people who would like to move onwards
and upwards out of their current constrictive circumstance.
The important thing to remember in the latter case, then, is to get a
clear understanding of the difference, which you can usually do online,
and then make sure you’re happy with how they may affect your
relationship. If you’re not happy with following some particular belief
or practice now, even after trying to make an effort to understand it,
then you probably never will. It may even become a point of contention
and resentment.
If, however, you are happy with such particularities, and your
respective ethical approaches are fairly similar, then your
compatibility levels should be very strong indeed.
Having a clear understanding of the signs of relationship
compatibility can help ensure that you make the right choice when it
comes to settling down with a potential lifetime partner. Not every box
has to be ticked, but do make sure you’re fine with those few missing
ticks.
