True love is the true definition of a perfect romance. But it’s not easy to find. Do you see these 12 signs of true love in your own relationship? By Elizabeth Arthur
True love isn’t felt in a heartbeat or in a second glance.
True love takes time to take shape.
And contrary to popular belief, love at first sight isn’t really love at all.
In fact, love at first sight is nothing but an infatuation.
It’s a strong surge of romantic and sexual emotions that overwhelm you.
Before you wonder what true love is all about and what the signs of
true love really are, you need to understand that it’s very important to
take things slow in a relationship if you want to ensure its success.
When you first start dating someone or fall for someone at first sight, what you experience isn’t love.
As much as you feel like you’re head over heels in love, you really aren’t.
You’re just experiencing the first stage of love, a small part in the stages of love known as the infatuation stage.
What is true love then?
True love, ironically, can’t be defined.
It’s the kind of love many of us chase after, but few truly find or realize it until it’s too late. So what is true love really?
True love is the kind of love and affection you have for someone that
isn’t bound by the laws of human behavior. Human behavior is simple to
understand. When someone hurts you, you get angry with them. When
someone gets lucky or gets a better job, you get jealous of them. And
when someone shatters your ego or humiliates you, you want your revenge.
This is human behavior, because these traits are engrained within us.
But when you experience true love with someone, your primal instincts
and behavior change only towards this person. True love transcends
typical human behavior. It makes you a better human being towards a
special someone.
When does one experience true love?
True love takes time to bloom. What you experience in the first year
or so of a relationship is infatuation and sexual attraction.
As the bursts of infatuation start to fade with the first few
arguments and the first few misunderstandings, that’s when love starts
to enter the picture. And this is where most couples start to drift away
emotionally, or even end up breaking up because of incompatibilities.
If you’re in a relationship where both of you truly understand each
other and feel compatible with each other, and most importantly, love
each other, chances are, you’re experiencing true love already.
Experiencing true love in your life
Is true love a once in a lifetime experience? Not really. You can
experience them many times over, and with many people at the same time.
You can experience true love with your spouse or your lover, your
children and any other person you’re attached to in your life.
But true love too, can fade with time. For most of us, our first love
is the first time we would have experienced the purest form of true
love. We aren’t afraid to let this special someone into our heart and we
aren’t afraid to experience heartbreak because we still don’t know what
heartbreak feels like. We’re fearless in love and we love passionately
with all our heart.
But when the first romance dies, the true love we had for our first
partner too eventually fades, even if it takes years and several new
relationships to overcome. And as we enter more relationships, most of
us split into two groups. One that believes in true romantic love and
the other group that convinces itself that true love doesn’t exist. The
kind of relationships you’ve had in your lifetime can play a big part in
your understanding of, and expectations from, true love.
And if you’re wondering whether true love and romantic love are the
same, it really isn’t, even though we almost always associate true love
with romantic love. True love is love in its purest form, while romantic
love needs sexual attraction to stay alive.
True love can’t be forced
True love has to be experienced naturally and wholeheartedly. You
can’t fake true love no matter how hard you try. If a couple fails to
pass the test of compatibility in their infatuation stage, it’s pretty
hard for both of them to ever experience true love.
On the other hand, if both partners can understand each other and
relate to each other, they’ll start to love each other’s company and
start to become inseparable. And eventually, this bond will turn into a
pure and selfless love that we call true love.
The 12 signs of true love in a perfect romance
True love may be hard to define, but the signs to read true love can be clearly seen in every perfect loving relationship.
If you’re in a relationship and want to know if you’re experiencing
the purest form of love, use these 12 signs of true love to find out for
yourself.
#1 Give and take in love. You give to the
relationship wholeheartedly, without any desire or expectations of
getting something back in return from your partner to justify your
actions.
#2 Pure happiness. Just watching this special person
smile or laugh out loud fills you with intense happiness, even if
you’re suffering or having a hard day.
#3 Pain and anger. You get terribly hurt when your
lover upsets you, but their actions never anger you. You may get annoyed
or frustrated now and then momentarily, but you just can’t stay mad at
them for long because staying mad or giving them the silent treatment
hurts you more.
#4 Sacrifices. You make sacrifices for their happiness or wellbeing, even if they may never realize it.
#5 The right effort. You go to great lengths and
make an effort to improve the relationship, and play a conscious part in
trying to please your partner and make them feel loved and special.
#6 You can’t ever hurt them. When you’re truly in
love with someone, you can’t even imagine hurting them, emotionally or
physically. Payback is a strong human instinct, but true love makes you
completely selfless.
#7 You keep your promises. When you make a promise
to them, you stick to your word even if this person will never find out
if you broke their promise. When you experience true love, your moral
conscience becomes very strong when it comes to this one special person.
#8 We. In a perfect relationship, it’s good to have
your own space to grow as individuals. But at the same time, if you
truly love your partner, you’d see them as a part of your life. When you
think of your future, you can’t help but see them by your side.
#9 You share their burden. And you do that even if
you don’t really have to. You can’t bear to see this special someone
suffering. If they’re dealing with some issue, you’re always willing to
offer them a helping hand even when you have your own difficulties to
look into.
#10 Pride and jealousy. You beam with pride when
they achieve something, even if it’s the same thing you failed at. You
may get jealous of a friend who outdid you, but when you love someone,
jealousy never enters the picture.
#11 Suffering. You’d be willing to suffer, just to see them happy.
#12 Their perspective. Everything you do, you keep
your lover in mind and think from their perspective, be it about
planning a surprise party or hanging out with your own friends after
work. You don’t ever want to hurt your lover, so you always think from
their point of view before making any decision that involves them in any
way.
Are you experiencing true love?
If you’re in a relationship and aren’t experiencing these true love
signs, don’t fret. Perhaps, your relationship hasn’t reached the state
of emotional maturity that surpasses physical attraction or the stage of
infatuation.
Take your time and test the waters. You can’t fall in love with
someone by forcing yourself into the relationship. If it’s not working
out, try to understand each other better. And if nothing you do can
bring happiness back into love, perhaps both of you would be better off
dating other people.
But at the same time, if both of you are already happy in the
relationship, don’t try to change anything about it. Sometimes, selfless
and unconditional love takes time to materialize. Remember, you can’t
push yourself into the next stage in love unless both of you are ready
for it.
As long as your lover and you are happy and understand each other, you’re already experiencing the perfect kind of love!
Use these 12 signs of true love to understand what true
selfless love really means. And even if you’re not there yet, don’t
worry about it. It’s only a matter of time before a happy romance goes
the true love way!
