Whether you are in a long term relationship, or starting a new romance, the role of intimacy in a relationship is one that should never be overlooked!
So what exactly is intimacy? In this context, intimacy is a close
familiarity and rapport between two people. Being intimate with someone
does not necessarily mean getting physical. It is about being
emotionally close to your partner and being able to let your guard down,
no matter the situation.
Intimacy is also about accepting the other person’s feelings,
respecting their opinions, and the constant act of forging strong
emotional experiences together.
The importance of intimacy in love
It is true that couples who have been together for a long time tend
to be more intimate with each other than those in newly forged
relationships. This is because being intimate with someone takes time,
patience and effort.
Sometimes, intimacy just builds up without any planning whatsoever.
It’s not just about sharing one’s hopes and dreams. It is also about the
little awkward things like farting in front of each other, sharing
tales of your painful past with each other, experiencing embarrassing
moments together and many more.
Be it a tedious long distance relationship, married life with the
person of your dreams, or a fresh start with someone new, intimacy
transcends all levels and types of relationships. It plays an important
and irreplaceable role in determining whether things are going to work
out in the long run.
12 ways to keep intimacy alive in a relationship
Many people underestimate the importance of intimacy and instead,
prefer to focus on the materialistic and physical part of the
relationship. Although these aspects are relatively important, they are
not as essential as intimacy and the strong bond that it brings.
If you feel a little lost and do not know where to start, here are
some simple things that you can do to keep your relationship’s level of
intimacy at its optimum.
#1 Be generous. This does not mean buying your
partner beautiful things and splurging on expensive meals. It refers to
being generous when you give yourself away. Be generous when you share
your time and feelings with your partner. Do not bother with mind games
that involve who is going to say sorry first, who should pick up the
phone to ask the other on a date first and so on.
Remember that being in a relationship with someone is all about give
and take, so do not bother keeping score when it comes to the bad
things. Although being generous is very important, always remember to
keep a sense of individuality when you are in a relationship. The
biggest no-no is giving yourself away completely and waking up one
morning realizing that you do not know who you are anymore.
#2 Have fun together. Couples that share leisure
activities enjoy more love and less conflict than those who do not. By
engaging in mutually enjoyable activities, you will feel more connected
to your partner, thus forging a more intimate relationship.
The best way to build intimacy is to have fun together. Whether it is
heading for laser tag with a group of friends, or planning a romantic
rooftop picnic for two, spending time together will undoubtedly keep the
spark of intimacy alive, be it in a new or long term relationship.
#3 Experience new things together. Another way to
build a strong bond of intimacy with your lover is to indulge in new and
exciting things together. It could be taking a vacation somewhere
neither of you has ever been to, signing up for a cooking class, or
spending the afternoon rollerblading together for the first time.
By experiencing new things together, both of you are laying the
foundation in your bid to build a greater sense of connectivity and
intimacy with each other. Not just that, your triumphs and failures
while attempting these new activities will add to the wealth of memories
that the two of you are amassing together.
#4 Prove your love. Nothing is more intimate than
proving to your partner that you love them. You can pen a love letter
and leave it in you man’s shirt pocket for him to find later, plan a
romantic night out for your lady love at her favorite oyster and
champagne bar, or just tell your partner “I Love You” and speak from
the heart. No matter what you do, your partner will appreciate the time
and effort that you put into proving your affection and love.
#5 Communicate freely. Try not to keep any secrets
from each other if you can. Sure, a little white lie here and there
never hurt anyone, but it is always best to be honest with the person
you care about. If you think he made a bad decision investing in that
particular block of shares, then tell him what you think. If you think
it is not her place to badmouth her colleague, then tell her so.
Sure, the truth may hurt and spark a minor disagreement, but at the
end of the day, your partner will thank you for being honest. Being able
to communicate freely with one another is one of the fundamentals when
it comes to keeping intimacy alive in a relationship.
#6 Touch often. Although intimacy is not all about
being physical with one another, it certainly does not hurt to indulge
often. Touching one another gives emotional intimacy the chance to be
turned into something physical and real because sometimes, feelings and
words are just not enough.
Whether it is a mind blowing romp between the sheets, holding hands
at the mall, or a sweet kiss and hug before heading off to work, touch
your loved one often and make sure you mean every fondle, caress, hug
and kiss that you bestow upon them.
#7 Show appreciation. Another way to keep intimacy
alive in a relationship is to always take the time to show appreciation
to your partner. This may sound simple enough, but many people tend to
overlook this important aspect. Everyone loves being appreciated, most
of all by the people who matter.
Whether you verbalize it by saying, “Thank you for all that you have
done, my love”, or treat your partner to a home cooked meal, show that
you appreciate your lover. Even better, take a few seconds every day to
look your partner in the eye, thank them and tell them how much you love
them.
#8 Allocate date nights. Keep the spark alive by
keeping the excitement alive. This is especially true if you are saddled
with kids, or if both of you have busy careers and not much time for
each other. Allocate date night at least once a week and make an effort
to focus all of your attention and strength on your partner.
Have fun with each other and relish each other’s company as much as
you can. Whether it is trying the new sushi joint down the street, or
heading for cocktails in the city, ensure that you set aside time to do
something meaningful and fun together.
#9 Do what pleases your partner. If you want to keep
the intimacy alive, then you are going to have to speak your partner’s
love language. Even if you are not a fan of sushi, plan a date at a
Japanese restaurant because you know he loves it. Another way is to not
let your apathy for current affairs stop you from getting two tickets to
a TED talk in your city if you know your partner will enjoy it.
You should make the effort to indulge in activities that your lover
enjoys, no matter how dull it may seem to you. Who knows? You may just
realize that what they enjoy doing is not so tedious, after all.
#10 Be supportive. Intimacy means being on par with
your partner emotionally. Hence, you should be supportive of your
partner no matter what. Be it through sickness, financial difficulties,
starting a new business, a death of someone important, or even something
trivial like needing a ride to work, do all that you can to be
supportive of your partner no matter the situation.
#11 Lessen stress. When you have less stress and
worries in your life, you will undoubtedly have more space in your mind,
heart and schedule for your partner to build intimacy. Research has
shown that stress management should be something to consider if you want
to improve sexual and emotional intimacy with your partner. Be it
cutting back on your work hours, forgoing high pressure projects, or
cutting out toxic or destructive people from your life, do all that you
can to lessen the stress in your life for the benefit of your
relationship.
#12 Go to bed together. The simplest way to keep
intimacy alive in a relationship is also the most overlooked. In today’s
fast paced world where people have bizarre work schedules, children,
projects and other activities going on, many couples find themselves
going to bed at different times. This leads to a disconnect between both
partners, resulting in less intimacy.
Bedtime should be a shared ritual of intimacy between two lovers as
it reduces stress and tension. If both of you cannot sync your schedules
to go to bed at the same time, the very least that you can do is to
hug, snuggle or put to rest any tension between the two of you leftover
from the day. A simple, “I’m sorry, my love, have a goodnight” should
suffice and will reaffirm your partner that you care about them.
It’s the small things in love that keep intimacy alive in a
relationship. So if you find yourself feeling disconnected or distant
from your partner, just indulge in these 12 easy ways. You’ll enjoy
yourself, bond better and feel more in happy love in no time.
