Many people think they feel romantic attraction when really, they just like the way someone looks. Here’s how to know if you feel the real thing.
Romantic attraction is really the big-ticket item when it comes to a
long lasting relationship. You can’t hope for a successful and happy
relationship without it. But something a lot of people think is romantic
attraction is actually only surface deep. Meaning, it’s not the real
thing.
Usually, it’s only physical attraction. We can get so invested in
someone at the beginning of the relationship that we only THINK we feel
romantically connected to them. That’s one of the flaws in the dating
world today. Too many people are mistaking lust for a romantic
attraction.
Lust can only get you so far in a relationship
The main thing people feel for someone when they first meet and have
an initial attraction is lust. They feel a strong desire to be close to
that person in a physical sense. But that can only get you so far in a
long-term relationship.
This is something that usually fizzles out after a few months. AKA,
the honeymoon phase ends and they’re hit with the reality that they
don’t actually like the person emotionally. Then the relationship
usually ends. You just can’t have a healthy and happy relationship
without that romantic attraction.
How to know if what you’re feeling is romantic attraction
So how do you differentiate those feelings? It can be difficult to
know because really, if you’re with the right person, you’ll feel a
combination of all attractions. The thing you have to start figuring out
is how to tell when you feel romantic attraction specifically. Because
that’s what will make your relationship stronger. Here’s how to tell if
you’re feeling the real thing.
#1 You feel emotionally connected. This is by far
the biggest indicator that you’re romantically attracted to someone. If
you feel an emotional connection, it’s romance. If you’re not sure what
that feels likes, it’s basically when you really, really like someone
and it has nothing to do with any tingling feeling in your crotch area.
You feel attraction to the way they talk, their opinions, and the way
their mind works. It’s not about how hot you think they are.
#2 Physical attraction aside, you’d still be drawn to them. If
you feel romantic attraction toward someone, chances are you’re also
physically attracted to them. That being said, if you could take away
their good looks and still be drawn to them, it’s a romantic connection.
You like them for more than just their appearance.
#3 You value their opinion. This is a huge sign of
romantic attraction. If you’re feeling all fluttery around them and you
also tend to take their opinion to heart, it’s definitely romance. When
you want someone’s opinion – not because you want to be what they like –
but because your find value in their thoughts and views, it’s romance.
#4 You want to be physically close with them in a nonsexual way. Sure,
you probably have the urge to touch them in naughty places and make out
with them from time to time. However, when you also just want to lay
with them and enjoy their company, it’s romantic attraction.
Cutting out the sexual tension and energy and still wanting to be in
someone’s presence is how romantic attraction works. That feeling of
wanting to curl up and cuddle is romance and an emotional connection.
#5 They make you smile for no reason. The thing
about romantic attraction versus being sexually interested in someone is
that with romance, just the thought of someone can make you smile. When
you’re always giddy and happy around someone, that’s romantic
attraction at its finest.
And that’s because they’re reaching you on a deeper level. Sure, if
they were pleasing you sexually you’d probably smile. But that’s the
thing. There’s a reason to that smile. When you’re happy for no reason
whenever you’re around or thinking about them, it’s romantic attraction.
#6 Their thoughts and ideas are attractive. When you
have romantic attraction with someone, you are attracted to the way
their mind works. Their thoughts and ideas and opinions become very
important to you. Sometimes they even captivate you.
At times, you’ll find yourself wanting to sit and talk to them about
certain topics instead of being intimate with them physically. Forget
making out! You just want to know how they feel about alien life on
other planets!
#7 Your life is richer with them in it. This has
nothing to do with the fact that you’re probably getting some in the
bedroom. This is focused around the idea that you feel as though your
life has improved since they’ve been around.
This can be because you feel happier or perhaps they help you see the
world in a brighter light. No matter the reason, if you can confidently
say your life is better with them in it, it’s romantic attraction.
#8 You want to be their shoulder to cry on. This one
is a huge sign it’s romance and not something less meaningful. Wanting
to be their support system shows that you care about their happiness on a
deeper level. This type of care is categorized as deeply emotional.
If you could see them break down and cry and only want to be there to
make them feel better, you’re romantically involved with them. You want
to be there emotionally for support. That’s not about taking off your
clothes and hoping it cheers them up.
#9 You want them to succeed in their endeavors. This
also has to do with wanting the best for them. When you care about
their life goals and ambitions, it shows a level of romance.
That romantic attraction makes you want to see them succeed. You want
them to be happy and you know that seeing them succeed in their goals
will do that.
#10 Their personality is the main reason you’re attracted to them. Throw
literally everything else out the door. What are you left with?
Someone’s personality should be the main reason you’re attracted to
them. If you want romantic attraction, it’s crucial.
Caring for someone based on their personality is more about romance
than anything else. If you get rid of their job, looks, family, and
anything else that may make them appealing and only leave them with
their personality, are you attracted to them? If the answer is yes, then
it’s a romantic connection.
Romantic attraction can be difficult to pinpoint if you’re
never felt it before. These are the top signs that what you’re feeling
is definitely romantic and not just lustfully physical.
