First-date etiquette demands of a man that he foots the bill. It doesn’t demand he pay every bill after that, but sometimes you might find yourself dating a woman who is still using guidebooks from the 1950s and won’t ever pull out her wallet. Here are a few pointers for the man who feels his credit card is being taken advantage of.
If she’s used to being paid for
An exceptionally beautiful or charismatic woman, who is used to not having to pay her own way, expects that this treatment will continue. For her, that’s just how the world is, and no amount of hints will coerce her to pay for herself. She’s not maliciously using you for your money, that’s just what she thinks she’s entitled to when she goes on a date with you.
Trying to say something to her about it will result in her thinking you’re being mean. There are two choices open to you: refuse to continue paying for her, running the risk of losing her, or continuing to provide the dough. If you’re faced with this situation, there are countless men who would trade places with you in an instant and who are happy to keep her in champagne once you’re gone. Make your decision carefully.
If she’s just being ignorant
You’ve paid for the first date, then you paid for the second, and she’s got no reason to think you won’t keep paying forever. It hasn’t occurred to her that your career in the fast food industry does not leave you with bottomless hip pockets. If she’s too dim-witted to realize that your generosity is not sustainable, you’re going to have to bring it to her attention. This is a delicate conversation to have with her, so avert the awkwardness by making it into a joke. Ask her when it’s your turn to be wined and dined by her, or poke fun at how you’re going to have to sell your watch next time she looks at you for cash.
If she’s using you for your cash
If she always orders the most expensive dish on the menu and doesn’t hesitate in ordering bottles of champagne, with the bill always landing in your lap; and if she accepts invitations to fancy dinners but won’t go on an evening stroll, she’s using you. This leaves you with the decision of whether it is worth paying for her dinners for the pleasure of being with her. If you think she’s so fantastic that it doesn’t bother you that she is dating you for the rib-eye steak, rather than because she enjoys your company, then there’s no reason you shouldn’t continue the affair. At least if she ends up falling for you and you live happily ever after, you’ll end up with joint finances and she’ll stop trying to screw you out of your money.
