So your ex-girlfriend was a very sweet person when you were together. She was a real catch and you two spent a lot of time together--went to ballgames, strolled through the park, etc... But the two of you grew apart and you broke up with her. She may have had a hard time accepting the breakup, but would you have ever imagined that she'd become a stalker?
Many women stalk their ex-boyfriends because they have a hard time dealing with the reality that the relationship is really over. The stalker ex-girlfriend may do things like call repeatedly or call late at night, leave notes at your home or send unwanted text messages and e-mails. You may begin seeing your ex in the same stores, the same bars, the same parking lots, or where you work.
In more extreme cases, the stalker ex-girlfriend may begin expressing their anger and frustration by using verbal abuse, vandalization and even use threats like hurting you or themselves if you do not do what they want. Psychotic women like this will do these things because they hope that by maintaining contact they can convince their former partner to take them back; however, stalking is a crime based in obsession and not passion.
So, how are you supposed to handle your stalker ex-girlfriend? First off, do not react to her. Friends, family members and neighbors can help you keep an eye out as well, but be sure you can trust those who you tell about your situation. Change your email address and if you need to block your new email address so she can't email you if its an option in your e-mail provider. If you use instant messages make sure to block her or her name so she can't harass you.
If you don't answer your phone or respond back to her eventually she will get tired, forget about bugging you and will eventually leave you alone; however, if she continues to stalk you or make threats, report it to the police right away. You need to have a history of complaints and write down the times and dates in order to cover your back if and when she decides to make false accusations against you. Make sure to save voice mail messages or e-mail messages and any other evidence you may have, to include keeping a copy of all incoming and outgoing phone calls.
In extreme cases, a restraining order serves as a wake-up call, letting the stalker ex-girlfriend know that you're serious about no longer wanting to see her. Keep in mind that a restraining order only works on people who are willing to follow it; it doesn't necessarily mean that you're out of danger. If you feel that she's still an explosive hazard, as a last resort it may be necessary to move to another city without leaving a trace.
