Offering to buy a woman a drink, while not very creative, is a socially safe way of showing your interest. It can also quickly get expensive if you buy drinks for the wrong women. If you can understand what she’s thinking, you’ll know which women to buy drinks for and which to avoid.
It’s not how she wants to be picked up
What does it mean?
By approaching her with the line ‘can I buy you a drink’, you are using one of the most over-used openers ever. But here’s the thing: it’s not an opener. Have a conversation with her before you offer her a drink. Because you’ve just been talking, she will think you’re interested because of her personality. If you’ve opened by asking her if she would like a drink, she knows it’s all about looks and might think you’re shallow, or worse, a bit creepy.
It’s the chivalrous thing to do
Women who are into old-fashioned chivalry will be impressed by your offer of a drink. But if you offer too early in your exchange, she’ll feel cheap accepting it from you. If she seems more conservative than the average bar or club patron, asking her if she wants a drink is a sure bet.
Some women see it as a free drink
If you’re offering to buy her a drink, then why should she spend her own money? Some women get a kick out of getting things for free.
Of course, when you buy her a drink you’re not doing so because you want a complete stranger to save a few dollars. Whether you’re getting her a drink because you want to get to know her better or because you want to get in her pants, you’re still getting something out of the deal: her time.
Unless she is incomprehensibly dumb, she understands that by accepting your offer, she is agreeing to spend some time talking to you. But if she’s a real bitch, she will accept the drink and then disappear with it.
Sometimes a group of girls, who can’t really afford a night out, will go out and see how many drinks they can score because of their looks. When you buy a woman a drink, you’re taking the risk that she is going to run off as soon as you hand it to her. This is another reason why you should chat to her before offering- if she likes you, she’ll stay.
She might think you’ve slipped something in there
Women’s magazines advise us to be wary about accepting drinks, so if she seems suspicious of you, it is nothing personal- she just takes the advice of her magazines very seriously.
If she insists on going with you to the bar and watching as the drink is being poured, she’s just checking that you’re not giving her a spiked drink. Other behaviours of women concerned with drink spiking include covering the top of the glass with her hand if she’s holding it, and not entrusting other people to mind her drink when she goes to the bathroom.
Upon noticing the measures she goes to in keeping her drink safe, don’t draw attention to it. This could lead her to think that you are intending to spike her drink, because you’re watching her for signs that she’s not an easy target. Or, she might get embarrassed and feel like she is being paranoid, which makes your conversation uncomfortable. Also be aware that cautious women are less inclined to go back to the place of someone they’ve just met- so you might have to wait for an invite to her place.
