So much focus is on how to get sex and how to have good sex, that it’s easy to overlook what happens afterwards. If you want to give her an outstanding experience in the bedroom, your job doesn’t stop once you’re satisfied.
The after-sex etiquette that most men skip
Don't blow it
If you were having sex and suddenly she stops, disengages her body from you and is snoring within thirty seconds, while you’re still ready to go, you would be frustrated. Yet this is what women often have to put up with. Just because you’re done, doesn’t mean she is.
You might think she already came, but especially if you haven’t slept with her before and don’t know her that well, you should ask if she is satisfied. Even if you’re absolutely sure she did climax, she could have been on the brink of another orgasm when you stopped, leaving her frustrated.
If she confirms that she’s satisfied, then she will appreciate that you’re considerate enough to ask. Or, if she’s still not done, get to work with your hands or mouth.
Not all women want to be cuddled
Romantic comedies would have you believe that all women want after climaxing is to be tenderly cuddled. While for many women that’s true, it’s not set in concrete. Take note of her body language after sex – if she is sprawled out or shying away from you, she does not want to be constricted by your embrace. Particularly after vigorous sex or if she seems puffed out, cuddling is too hot and uncomfortable.
She wants you to still show an interest
She doesn’t want to feel like you’ve gotten what you wanted from her, and now are completely disinterested. It will make her feel used and rejected. Kissing and fondling her body after sex, but in an affectionate way rather than how you would during sex, shows that you’re still keen. You could discuss what you liked and ask her what she liked, so you can build interest for next time.
Give her your full attention for a short while after sex. No checking your messages or emails, don’t jump into your clothes straight away, and especially don’t excuse yourself for a minute and come back with snacks.
Don’t thank her for sex
In a misguided attempt to be polite, some men and women think it’s proper etiquette to thank the other person after sex. Anyone who does this has obviously never had it happen to them!
Thanking implies that she has done you a favor, rather than it being a mutually pleasurable experience. Unless you’re terrible in bed, there is no need to thank. Some women even feel offended if they are thanked for an intimate experience because that seems like the sort of thing that happens after a transaction with a sex worker. Even if you decide to go with a ‘thank you’ and she’s not offended, it’s incredibly awkward.
What’s in it for you?
Impressing her with your bedroom manners will bode well for any future sex with her. However, if it’s a one-night stand and you don’t plan on sleeping with her again, you don’t benefit from practicing after-sex etiquette. Maybe that’s why so many men fail to give women what they want after sex. There’s nothing in it for you, but she will appreciate your effort.
