It doesn’t matter what you say. We’ve all heard that, but most of us haven’t heard a compelling replacement for what you say – so the majority of thinking and advice on the subject tends to stay there.
Take these tips
But it’s true – what you say really doesn’t make any difference whatsoever. To prove this to you, I’ll offer a simple challenge:
I’m going to share with you the only three things that matter when you approach – and if you do all three of them while saying whatever you want (barring insults) – and you can still manage to get ‘rejected’ – I’ll do a free coaching call with you. Just shoot me an email at nick@thesocialman.com and let me know what time works best for you.
Here’s the one catch – you have to do a best two out of three. Reason being is, as I talk about in Fearless, the 60/40 principle, or rather that the reaction you get from her only has 40% to do with anything you did, and 60% to do with her and what kind of person she was and mood she was in before you ever got there, and that’s completely outside of your control.
Guys who aren’t good with girls look to minimize ‘rejection’, guys who are good with girls realize it’s part of the game because of the 60/40 principle – best out of three is only fair.
So anyway, after you factor in her mood, there are only three things that you can control, when you approach, that have any effect over her reaction:
1. Eye Contact
I’m not talking about a polite glance – I’m talking about the kind that keeps her trapped like a deer in headlights. If you do this – commanding respect and attention – you’ll probably get a positive response. If not… you probably won’t.
2. Smile
If she looks at you while you’re making this eye contact, and because you’re nervous or you’re thinking of what to say you forget to smile, you will not have any chance with her and she will think you’re kind of creepy. If you smile that friendly smile that let’s her know you’re a normal guy, you’ll probably get a positive response. If not… creepy!!!
3. Get Her Attention
The #1 reason why a girl with give you that ball-shriveling look that says, “what are you talking about”, is because she didn’t actually hear what you were talking about. The two things you have to do are take a deep breath before you speak so you get her attention in a deep, resonating, masculine voice that stops her dead in her tracks and makes her tingle in her lady parts – and get close enough to her to spike her emotion and put her physical attention on you. Make her feel you strongly when you make your entrance, and she’ll light up. Hesitantly tap her on the shoulder while timidly keeping your distance as not to bother her – and she’ll swat you away like the fly you perceive yourself to be.
As you can see, this stuff isn’t complicated. As I’ve said in the past though, the real challenge begins because when you can’t blame your lack of knowledge there’s no more excuses. I dare you to prove me wrong.
