A love letter, simply put, is your love in words. What you say, how you say it and why you say it is secondary. As long as you say it and record it somehow to be enjoyed later, you will have succeeded in writing a love letter. But what if you want to write a romantic love letter?
Ah... now that's a whole different story. A romantic love is pure and beautiful, passionate and imaginative -- not diluted and plain, simple and structured. And so your romantic love letter must be the same. To be romantic, you and your love letter must have integrity, selflessness; you and your love letter must be delicate, charming, delightful and elegant; you and your love letter must express great depth of feeling; you and your love letter must be clever and inventive.
If you become that person, one full of integrity, selflessness, tenderness, charm, delight, elegance, depth and imagination... your love letters will reflect you and hence be romantic. Thus the secret to writing a romantic love letter is this:
Become romantic and then write what's inside, what you feel, what you think, what you do!
To Be Romantic, you and your love letters must have:
- Integrity
- Selflessness
- Tenderness
- Charm
- Depth
- Imagination
You must become that person first and then... (pause... think) your love letters will showcase the real romantic you, then... your love letters won't be fake. They will be genuine romantic love letters and consequently, infinitely more effective. Now not every love letter will contain all your romantic qualities. They'll be revealed over time, but only if you keep writing. So keep writing! Don't give one lonely love letter. Give dozens each year, perhaps once a week... so your true love will see you in all your letters...over and over again... for a lifetime.
Let's walk through each of the romantic qualities one at a time and see how you can incorporate them into your life and your letters.
Romantic quality # 1: Integrity in you and your love letters
There's no room for dishonesty in a truly loving relationship. You cannot be in love and keep a lie. True love is pure, honest, faithful and totally committed. Otherwise it's no love at all; it's relegated to just a word without substance. Webster says love is "inspired by affection" and Webster says affection is a "feeling." Well feelings ebb and flow and they've been proven unreliable; experts agree. So if love really is a feeling and feelings are unreliable, how can you be sure you're in love?
No disrespect to Webster, but that's not the whole truth. Love is not just about feelings; it's also about "commitment." In fact, it's mostly about commitment. A love based solely on feelings will crumble at the first sign of a storm. But a firm foundation of commitment can easily withstand life's strongest winds.
"O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark, That looks on tempests and is never shaken" ~ Shakespeare, Sonnet CXVI (on love)
If love is a commitment (and it is), then keeping it has more to do with character and integrity than feelings. Keeping it means staying true to your word, making a decision (to love) and following through (to the end). Besides, since love is a commitment, you can know for sure you're in love (what a relief), because it is your choice.
Be full of integrity in your life and showcase that in your letters. Ask yourself a question like one of these, list as many one-word answers as you can and then WRITE a love letter.
- Do I give you good reason to love me?
- Who would care for you better than I?
- How I would care for you in hard times?
- Why I would care for you in hard times?
- What am I willing to do to keep your heart?
- What can I do to make you happier?
- What will I do to make our relationship stronger?
- What I will do to ensure our love survives and is not left to chance?
- How long must I work for your love?
- How much of myself am I willing to give you?
- How can I out-do my best?
- How can I make it better?
Romantic quality # 2: Selflessness in you and your love letters
Everyone knows being generous with your time is a must to enjoy a two-sided happy, healthy relationship. You can't just do what you want, go where you want and say what you want with little or no regard whatsoever for your partner's wants, needs and desires. That will lead to certain bitterness, loneliness, anger or worse -- a relationship cut short of perfection.
Work to become greathearted, generous, self-sacrificing and magnanimous in your life and your letters. Learn to appreciate your love. Remind yourself (often) of its rewards; engage in a lifelong pursuit of your true love's desires. Search them out, work to understand them and give.
Be full of selflessness in your life and showcase that in your letters. Ask yourself a question like one of these, list as many one-word answers as you can and then WRITE a love letter.
- Who is most important to me?
- What I won't do for you?
- What regrets do I have?
- How have I changed because of you in my life?
- How can I show you my love is true?
- How can we make next year better than last?
- Am I able to change?
- Am I willing to work at our love forever?
- Why I will give you more than I take?
- Do I give you the attention you need?
- Is our love worth hard work?
- Why things don't matter to me more than you?
- What would happen if I lost everything, but still had you?
- Why I would rather spend time with you than anyone else?
Romantic quality # 3: Tenderness in you and your love letters
Even the toughest characters around are vulnerable (at times), despite their intentional neglect to advise you to "handle (them) with care." Everyone has feelings. Don't take them for granted. Everyone needs to know they're loved; everyone needs a shoulder, a hug or a kiss after a hard day. No person is exempt from that kind of human tenderness. You and your relationship can't forfeit that kind of gentleness and endure. Love is tender, it's delicate. So treat it as such; treat it as a precious treasure.
Practice tenderness and write about it, too. Ask yourself a question like one of these, list as many one-word answers as you can and then WRITE a love letter.
- Who will care for you when you're old and gray?
- Who would care for you better than I?
- How I would care for you in hard times?
- Who to talk to when you need advice/a shoulder/help?
- How do I feel when I'm with you?
- What do I feel when I'm away from you?
Romantic quality # 4: Charm in you and your love letters
It's much easier than you might think - to be charming. A trait often associated with movie stars and charismatic speakers can be yours, too. It's really not that hard to be fascinating, alluring, graceful and elegant. But it may require some work, which should not be a surprise -- all relationships require work. You will have to change, become a little better tomorrow than you are today. Nothing good in life is easy (despite what some may think).
- Read your true love's favorite book. Surprise them with a quote.
- Surprise them with a gift and a love letter.
- Clean up your act, buy a new dress/suit and get a new doo.
The point is to add a bit of spice to your life. Break out of the norm, become a little more interesting; not for you, for them. Rise above the "just good enough" mindset and do something extra special, become someone extra special. Invest in their interests - not just your own. Dazzle them. You might surprise yourself, too. Being charming can be fun.
Charm them everyday with your actions and your words. Ask yourself a question like one of these, list as many one-word answers as you can and then WRITE a love letter.
- What are your favorite things?
- Why I love to talk with you?
- What are my goals for our future?
- What will I do to make our relationship stronger?
- What landscape do you remind me of?
- What song do you remind me of?
- What car do you remind me of?
- What can I say to put a smile on your face?
- What I would love to do with you that we never did before?
Romantic quality # 5: Depth in you and your love letters
Surface talk is fine. It has its place at dinner parties and around the water cooler. But around the dinner table and alone with the most important person on the planet - to you, you must dig deeper. A thriving relationship cannot survive on niceties. It must have more. You need to know all the deepest dreams, hopes, desires and fears of your one and only true love. Otherwise, your relationship is nothing more than an acquaintance; acquaintances come and go.
Your love and this relationship is forever.
So ask who, what, why, where and when. Ask how. Ask how long. Don't dwell on yourself. You already know everything there is to know about you. You need to know more about them. Take a genuine interest. You may be surprised at what you learn. If they cry, cry with them. If they laugh, laugh with them. If they show an interest in something, show an interest in it, too.
Live your lives together and then write about it. Ask yourself a question like one of these, list as many one-word answers as you can and then WRITE a love letter.
- What do I love most about you?
- What have I learned from you?
- What gets you excited?
- What are your most amazing attributes?
- What do you want?
- What do you want from me?
- Will I ever stop finding new things about you that I love?
- Am I able to keep you happy for a lifetime?
- What you would be surprised to know about me?
- Why I want to share what happened to me today?
- What are your favorite things?
- What do you want most in life?
- What is your definition of the perfect day?
- Will you share something new with me today?
Romantic quality # 6: Imagination in you and your love letters
New is fun. New is exciting. New is essential to keep your love fresh and alive. But new takes creativity, inspiration, ingenuity, dreams and a fertile imagination. In order for you to invent new ways to show your love in everyday life and your love letters, you'll need to exercise your imagination. Keep it busy. If it's unemployed at the moment, give it a job, put it to work. On the job training is the best kind.
So what's new?
- Go places (go someplace new)
- Play games (play something new)
- Make food (make something new)
- Something about yourself (share something new)
- Something you read (read something new)
- Your dreams (dream something new)
- Ask something new...
- Who (do you want to meet, to become, to call, etc.)
- What (do you want to do, to say, to make, etc.)
- Where (do you want to go, to live, to start, etc.)
Think, dream, hope and then put it all in writing, set some goals and make it happen, live it. Ask yourself a question like one of these, list as many one-word answers as you can and then WRITE a love letter.
- What can we do to make our love more exciting?
- What can I do better?
- Why I never want to stop learning new things about you?
- Could we love each other more?
- How can I possibly write down all my thoughts?
- When will our love reach perfection?
- What was the single most exciting moment of our relationship?
- What fun things can we do?
- How can we out-do our best?
- What would it take to make you love me (more)?
- What can I do to make you happier?
- What are my dreams about our future together?
- Do I give you good reason to love?
