People become as you treat them.
It appears that the path I'm on progresses in circles
that create an ever deepening spiral of growth:
images dissolve and we learn new ways of being,
then I we go deeper and see the errors in the ways
we now follow, and we dissolve those blockages.
Facing a particular issue, we work something through
only to circle around at a later time and face the same issue
at a deeper or more subtle level of its manifestation
in our lives.
We work until we eventually dissolve the image
at its nuclear point in our soul.
Gradually we learn to live life without too many false expectations.
In the unfolding of each real moment we are fulfilled.
As we learn to approach life with gratitude
for what has been given to us,
with a readiness to open to truth and to love
in a spirit of trust, life will give us back
many generous surprises.
And we become one with the circle of life,
receiving the in-breath
and giving back the out-breath
that animates us all.
People become as you treat them. For instance, if a person is called "foolish" time and time again, they will, eventually, become foolish. If we call a simple person wise, in time they will become wiser. If we treat a person with romance, then they become romantic. A child who grows up hearing judgment and being told they are incapable, comes to believe that as truth. On the other hand, a child who makes mistakes and is encouraged to keep trying, affirmed for small victories, learns to take risks and set high goals. A partner who always hears complaints will eventually lose their libido. The words we speak become the truth we live, we must be very, very mindful.
Higher thinking minds, with higher thoughts, will always attract minds with higher thoughts. An ordinary mind is attracted toward ordinary thoughts. For instance, a person who has a habit of criticising people will most often open their ears to the criticism of others, because this is the subject which interests them. Indeed, their level of comfort is found there. A person entrenched in negative thinking cannot resist the temptation of hearing negativity of another person, because this is most near to their heart. What is most profound is that they also think like this toward themselves. There is no escaping that what we do unto others, we always do unto ourselves. Therefore, if we are complimentary and compassionate to others, we breed this toward ourselves.
Chapter 26 Create with love
When you are inspired by some greater purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds, your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great, and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.
Pattanjali
To manifest anything without love is totally possible. But never enjoyable. To manifest a child on this earth, without love is not enjoyable, it is a task. To manifest a business without love, then it becomes a job, not a passion of love. To do anything without love as your centre, is to manifest with force and emotion, there can be no rest in this heart.
So, love is the centre, and its purpose is to expand. Love expands by the act of doing things, by creating homes, building families, expanding businesses, imagining new songs. Manifest is the result of love. All of life is about creating and when we create with love, we are living on purpose.
We may begin to manifest a relationship with love, but the challenges can overcome the love. We might begin with love, but emotions and judgments creep in. Then, we are motivated to manifest things in our relationship instead of love. So, people start making babies, growing children, building homes, collecting friends, because they've "got to" make this relationship work. They substitute material things for the love that was meant to be behind their life. Then, there is manifestation without love. The love was there, but the problems and challenges have overcome the love.
The four substitutes for real love in a relationship with your sacred lover are; Spirituality - and the search for a God outside of our relationship. Food and substance - which fills the vacuum that is meant for love. Sexuality - the physical, emotional and sexual escape from real intimacy. Greed - the mindless accumulation of property, assets and personal goods in an attempt to feel good about being empty, without love.
Spirituality solves love problems at the source. Instead of putting band aids on issues, substitutes, we actually find what is stopping a person from doing what is the most important and most natural thing on earth, falling in love. Then we can manifest whatever we choose, with love. We throw away all the material measures of the quality of a relationship, we are not interested in a loveless fifty year relationship. We ask, how in love a couple are; I mean really in love, dependent on each other, devoted to each other. This is what is important. This is love. This is what I measure in love.
You make your job part of your relationship. My job is my hobby. My hobbies give me interest outside of my relationship that make me a better person to be around. I paddle my Kayak, go to Nepal, do my keynotes, write my books, so that my spirit is alive, my heart opened. And because of that, I come into my lovers arms awake, alive. They get the best of me, not the company. My children get the best of me, not my sport. The question is prioritisation. What do you prioritise? My love is my number one, if I am not in a great space for her, then I am asking for troubles.
Imagine a business. It has 2 employees. It makes $50,000 profit a year. That is the purpose of a business. Make profit. Profit to business, is like love to relationship. Now, five years and a lot of hard work later, the business has 40 employees, new buildings, new clients, new computers - what would you expect? Yes, you'd expect the profit to be more, because now, it is a bigger business, right? So what if the business has 40 employees and makes the same profit. $50,000 profit? Everybody in the business is getting paid more because they have grown in skill, the business is consuming more, producing more, but is still making $50,000 profit. Why do you think that would happen?
Because all the profit has been given to all the other elements of the business, channeled into buildings, computers, staff, longer hours, more travel, everything has received the profit except the business. This business cannot pay it's debts, it cannot invest in itself because all the profit leaked out in all the "compromises."
This is what happens when a couple doesn't grow their love and get distracted by work and children. Substituted relationship. If you measure the love between two people by how many children they have, how many homes they own, how much sex they have, how much fame they have, it is a frame without a heart, not a relationship. It's like measuring the business by how many employees it has, or how big the turnover is, or how much office space it has. But this is not the lifeblood of a business. Profit, banked and saved, invested outside the business, is the purpose of business and gives it legs to expand. Love in a relationship must be expanding. Love must also grow and be invested in our heart. Separate to children, houses, sex, bank accounts, success, holidays, meditation or yoga gurus. Your love is between you and your sacred lover, no matter who they are, they are sacred, it is you who can change.
The reason relationships don't grow is because couples lack awareness. Yes, people want their ego fed all the time about how wonderful they are. They really don't want honesty about how you feel, or what you think. So, there is discomfort with discomfort.
Imagine that business with 2 employees has an issue keeping track of the cash flow. It could work out why, and put in a system to manage that. But imagine if instead of putting in a system that can grow with the business, the owners put in a system that fixes the problem. They invest in a hand made accounting system to track cash flow. Then next year, the same problem occurs because they just "fixed" it, so now they "fix" it again. And so many years later they are still fixing the problem.
Short term thinking, is ego thinking. It is the argument between the human spirit and the ego. The ego wants to fix the problem now. It is only interested in pleasure. If it is hungry it eats. The ego can't save, learn, improve, or evolve because it only wants short-term fixes to long-term problems. Love is the long-term. Dreams, visions, hopes and aspirations. The ego must be sacrificed in the short-term, for the benefit of the long-term, love.
So, in relationship, if we are loyal to an old family tradition, an old issues, an old meme, an old pattern, angry at the past, same expectations, same beliefs, then that system (the ego) is frozen. That is not sacred. That is quick fix love, stuck in the past, and reacting to life. Eventually, we say, "I want more" and blame our lover.
The standard solution to this is to increase the emphasis on substitutes. We start wanting more sex, more money, more work, more happiness. We keep the same old process of dealing with our challenges and just look for another place to get those "more" things, And maybe for a while we find them. But then that old feeling comes, and we move again. Or we resign ourselves to the fact that relationships, like running a business, are a problem filled existence. So we just lie down and accept it, hoping to make it to our fiftieth anniversary of crumby compromise. We then say, "Look how good my children are, how good my life was", and point to the children as the result, loading them with what should have come from your relationship.
Everyday there are challenges in your relationship. Everyday there is an opportunity to grow in love. Spirituality is not a separate thing from your relationship, nor is it about materialising and manifesting, that is religion. No, spirituality is the process of growth, of using challenge to come back to truth. Bigger houses are not truth, more money is not truth. Love is truth in relationship. Profit is truth in business. Spirituality brings you back to this in both. Love is the process of relationship. Relationship can manifest all it wants without any compromise, as long as issues are addressed at the cause level - not solved at the effect level.
Then there is growth. Spirituality is the process of growing your love through issues.
That spiritual process is revealed in nature. Without human interference, the laws of nature reveal the universal beauty of love, and therefore any issue you pass through their guidance will turn, from an ego emotion, to love. This is the heart of sacred relationship.
Affirmation
My love for you will never change.
I would have loved you, even if I had never met you.
I know you in my heart, feel you in my soul, and I have never asked why.
I can't posses you, my love is more than that.
You may go away but you can never leave, never die, my love bridges that void.
I know your every breath, I smell your skin, feel your eyes on me.
I expect nothing except that I never forget this sacred Love.
My love is pure, only my expectations can be rejected.
My dream makes your happiness eternal.
